Online Dating with a Disability: Actual Messages I've Received From Guys

I know I said I wouldn't get too much into Disability Rights in this blog, but my disability is relevant when it comes to dating, so disability will come up, but Disability Rights will probably come up less often.

With that said, I'd like to share with you some wonderful messages I get from charming men in the online dating world.

As a disclaimer, I actually do like online dating. It's easy to weed out people and I've met some decent guys, had some delicious meals, explored fun places in Miami and have a bunch of hilarious stories to tell from online dating. Plus, it's a lot easier than trying to meet guys after work when I get out at 8pm, looking like crap, and going to the grocery store to buy cookies for dinner (stop judging.)

While I support online dating, I think it's important to be super selective. I've only gone on dates with 5 guys in Miami even though I've gotten messages from over 300 guys so far. And here's why: Guys are stupid. Every girl has to deal with the plethora of messages that only say "Hey Cutie" or "What's up?" (if you can't put in the effort to say anything else, I'm not responding.)

However, on top of the regular amount of stupid messages from tools that girls usually get, I have the added bonus of getting messages from charming men who think it's completely appropriate to ask about my disability right off the bat.

For your enjoyment, here is a series of messages that I have actually gotten from guys just this past month. Keep in mind I get these kinds of messages all of the time and these are just a select few: 


This guy thinks I'm amazing... and injured. 

Message says:

"Wow. Pretty amazing. Not sure I will get a reply because I am much older. One of the best profiles I have read. I have to ask, what happened. I see pics of you in a wheelchair and pics not. Did you get Injured?"

This guy thinks I take the cake and is apparently looking for a lawyer while online dating. 

(To fully understand this message you should know I have a picture of me and my best friend in my profile with the caption that says "My best friend is 10x taller and 10x prettier than me.")

Message says:

Him: Hello, my name is Mike, nice to meet you. You are definitely prettier than your friend, don't get me wrong, your friend is pretty, but you take the cake! :)

Me: Thanks! I still think she's prettier but she thinks I am. I guess that's why we're best friends!

Him: Nice thats what friends are for...so i cant help but notice in some pics you are in a wheelchair and others you're not..how often are you in the chair? (if you dont mind me asking) i like the last pic of you...so beautiful...

Him: So I noticed you didn't answer. Anyway, just want to let you know that I too am considered disabled by the government. Do you do cases of overpayment of social security? Cause that happened to me. Let me know and I'll tell you what happened.

This guy is confused. Why can't I just answer his question??

Message says:

Him: So, wait, do you have a disability or not? Lol

Me: You know, most guys just stick with "hey cutie" or you know, ask me about myself and talk about why I caught their interests.

Him: But I'm confused. You have pictures of you in a wheelchair, and some without. Lol. So, why didn't you answer my question?

This guy is just curious and thinks I'm angry

Message says:

Him: So what exactly is your disability? If you don't mind me asking

Me: You know, most guys just stick with "hey cutie" or you know, ask me about myself and talk about why I caught their interests.

Him: Gotcha, my apologies for being curious.

Me: No problem. Feel free to let me know if you're curious about any other aspect of my life that wouldn't be appropriate to ask until you really got to know me such as how much money I make, my favorite sex position, or how many people I've slept with. I mean, if you're curious what's the harm, right?

Him: I appreciate your fervor to really drive home your disdain for a question to a random person on the internet. Next time maybe just ignore the message if it offended you and move on. Or get angry, its up to you. 

This guy didn't ask about my disability, he's just really excited about my *one* breast.

Message says:

Good morning!!! May be your friend is 10x taller, but not more prietty than you are. Beacouse you are very attractive!!! I like your gentle smile, your freckles and your hair. Your clear bright eyes!!! And your breast!!! You have a great boobs!!! I like that you are short!!! Beacouse I'm not tall and like petite. I think that you are very sexy & hot!!! Sincerely, Alex

Lessons Learned? 

1. I'm glad I have my disability because it helps me weed out these winners

2. Putting pictures of me in my everyday life which includes me sitting and standing is very confusing. 

3. People feel that it's completely appropriate to ask strangers about their disabilities. 

4. Apparently I'm angry. 

5. I have a very nice breast, but I don't know which one it is. 

Reviving The Blog: Tales from a Single Girl in Miami

For the first time ever my best friend, Katie, and I are single at the same time. We've been best friends since high school, but have always been in relationships. Notably, she just got out of a 7 year relationship with a loser (but that's her story to tell), and last year I broke off my engagement with a guy that I dated for 5 years.

Now we're both in our twenties, professionals, single, and living on our own in different cities. We're both out there dating and have had some pretty great stories to tell each other.

Then came this great idea - we should blog. Yes, I know, everyone blogs. But I don't expect anyone to read this except Katie. I don't want to make this blog insightful or Disability Rights related. I don't. Disability Rights is my passion, my career, and is a large part of my life. I love it. But there's more to me and my life than that.

Quite frankly, I'm in my mid twenties on the dating scene and I want to remember these days so I'm going to write about them. Katie (who had the idea to blog in the first place) isn't so sure she wants to remember these days, but I'm keeping the faith and hoping she will blog about her experiences dating too because her stories are pretty hilarious.

So read my blog or don't, your choice. The following posts will most likely be filled with stories of dates gone wrong (maybe dates gone right?), lessons learned about being independent, and tips from a single girl in Miami (take them or leave them.)