Sometimes I think my life is funny.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Dating with a Disability: Real Messages I’ve Received From Men – January Edition

I’ve gone on some ridiculous dates with some real winners and you’ve had the chance to read about them all. You might be wondering how in the world is it possible that I can go on so many bad dates. I am wondering that too. Honestly, I don’t think my standards are that high. Miami has certainly lowered the bar. I have come to terms with the fact there are absolutely no smart, good looking, gainfully employed, fiscally responsible men in Miami. But still, I never expected the dating pool to be this bad.

However, to prove to you that I am not purposely going on dates with guys I know will be duds, here are messages from guys that I have received this month that I did not go on dates with. As bad as my actual dates are, it appears that there is much worse out there…

Guys Who Are Questioning My Disability Right Off The Bat

My Very First Question of the New Year!
Hello there. why are you using wheelchairs?

Is "Wheelchair" Really That Hard to Spell?
Him: Why are you in a wheel chair?
Me: Why can't you spell wheelchair?

Seriously Guys, Spelling Counts.
Ok, I'm curious... What's up with the wheel chairs? Bc half of your pics you are in one and the other half not... Sorry I'm Brad by the way

Confusion Does Not Excuse Spelling Errors. Neither Does Being Clueless.
Hi ... :) ... well your friend can be 10x taller but not 10x prettier than you ... ;) ... apologies for the following question but I don't understand ... you are standing in some pics ... and other pics in a wheel chair ... if you may explain what happen to you ... I am clueless right now ... :(

Guys Who Both Wrote Eerily Similar “Original” Messages  

Bad News Joey, You're Not Very Original
Bad news Step_Funny... 

I saw your profile and there was something that caught my eye. Maybe it was that you seem outgoing too. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done? I have a feeling that there's more to you than just your looks, but let's see if you're as nice and interesting in person. 

I'm not one to talk too much about myself but I'm 22, athletic, and outgoing. So if you don't like to go out and have fun, then we're going to have problems ;-) 

Worst case? You'll make a cool friend, so let's get together for a drink or coffee sometime... 


Didn't I Get This Message Yesterday?
Hi there, 

I'm not good at writing someone new but please bear with me. 

I saw your profile and there was something about it that intrigued me, maybe because what you wrote about spitfire and disability rights 

I feel that there's more to you than your looks and I wanna know if you're as nice and interesting as you are in the picture. 

I'm also sure that you have gotten about 650 e-mails so far from old dirty men wanting to be your sugar daddy... or guys saying hi my name is John and I like long walks on the beach, cuddling and wine... 

If that's what you have been getting then you'll find this message refreshing... :) 

Can you tell me the most spontaneous things you've ever done or what do your friends say about you. 

I'm not the one talk too much about myself but I'm 35, tall and dark, have my act together and fun to be around, so if you don't like to laugh then we are in trouble... :) 

I believe we are both on here to meet someone new so let's get together sometime over a coffee. 

Worst case? You might make a cool friend... 


The Guy Who Doesn’t Like Women with Identities

That's Not My Name 
Him: Hey how are you?? Your profile caught my attention and after reading through it I had to say hi. I'm Josh by the way. You definitely seem genuine and well through my quest on here that's a hard trait to find haha, so I'd love to chat and get to know more about the woman in the picture ;) I work for the government (well get more into that later) but I try to get on here as much as possible. Well hope to hear from you sweetheart.- Josh

Me: You know you sent me the same message a few months ago, right?

Ya you never responded. What are you up to cutie

That's not my name.

Lol wow nm

The Weirdos

 The Fortune Cookie
Everyone we meet brings an impact to our lives, but it's up to you decide if you want to make a great impact or a bad one. I can say that a great one can happen if we decide to get to know one another, do you not agree?

No. Just No. 
Hey gorgeous , I mean flawless :) are you doing today? . By the way, I love your smile.

Umm... Okay?
I'm a cancer. ;))

The Persistent Guy With Terrible Pick Up Lines 
lol why is a cutie like you still single ?
I want to feed you chicken fingers lol

The Extreme Weirdo

Santa? Is That You?
I am so glad the holidays are over. Now I can lose the beard, put the reindeer away, and stop breaking my ass inside of chimneys. Nothing but sunny beaches for me now, how about you?

 Lessons Learned:

1. I should not have an identity.
2. My ability to sit and stand is still really confusing.
3. Santa is just another creep living in Miami.


  1. Wow. Pretty amazing. I'm a guy who uses leg AFO's to walk a bit and also uses a chair. Also a law school survivor, by the way.

    I received some very similar messages from women on dating sites. I'm glad my current girlfriend is intelligent and was able to see past it. There are still a few good people out there.

    Keep up the great writing.